I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
