WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
