So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
