i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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