dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
