I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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