Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
