Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
