:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im part way to drunk.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
