I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
