I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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