NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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