what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
