last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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