OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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