My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
