hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize