ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
