I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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