there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
