Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
