I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
