Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
