This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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