I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize