She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
