is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
even my farts smell like vagina
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
