his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
