If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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