oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize