Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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