He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
