Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
handjob tips. give me some.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
