Moan for me like Helen Keller
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
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if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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