I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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