She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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