"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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