all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
