the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.