What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.