69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
