this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
