There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
