That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
