pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
