Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
