i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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