I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize