they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
