I met the friendliest cop last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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