you guys were way drunker than both of me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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