She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
