Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
