everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
