dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
