look no pants
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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