im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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