If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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