I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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